Almost Is Never Enough
I spent years searching for my twin brother
We were separated at birth because he had a birth defect
Dad refused to keep him and forced Mom to put him up for adoption
He said raising a son with only one arm would be a disgrace and unmanly
“Men are supposed to be able to play baseball” Dad would always scream
Mom resented Dad after that but she was thankful for me
Dad on the other hand, not so much
“The boy should have been born with two arms. Girls don’t play baseball” Dad would always scream
He hated me
He was a raging addict of all kinds
Alcohol, heroin, opiates
You name it, he does it
My mother killed herself when I was seven
Dad always said killing yourself is selfish because it makes all of the people who love you suffer
Mom always thought nobody loved her
“You’re a worthless piece of trash!” Dad would always scream
I didn’t blame Mom for taking her own life;
I just wish she didn’t leave me alone
It wasn’t until I was fifteen I figured out where my brother might be
The morning I was planning to set out, I brought dad his morning ritual of three beers and a needle
He didn’t even notice the backpack on my shoulders
He must have still been high from last night
My brother wasn’t far
His mom owned a diner just a few blocks south
I walked in;
I saw a woman at the counter
A tall, beautiful blonde
Shaking, I cleared my throat
“Do you happen to know where Noah Presley is?”
My voice was calm and content
“Noah Presley?” she sounded alarmed-
“My son died three years ago in a car accident,” she finished
I like to believe that if my brother and I were never separated, my life would be different
I like to believe that if my brother and I were never separated, he would still be alive
It’s a shame to think you were so close, but to no avail
I almost made it
I almost met him
It almost changed my life
I went home that night and got my dad his nightly ritual of three beers and a needle and went up to my room
My life almost changed today,
But almost is never enough.
We were separated at birth because he had a birth defect
Dad refused to keep him and forced Mom to put him up for adoption
He said raising a son with only one arm would be a disgrace and unmanly
“Men are supposed to be able to play baseball” Dad would always scream
Mom resented Dad after that but she was thankful for me
Dad on the other hand, not so much
“The boy should have been born with two arms. Girls don’t play baseball” Dad would always scream
He hated me
He was a raging addict of all kinds
Alcohol, heroin, opiates
You name it, he does it
My mother killed herself when I was seven
Dad always said killing yourself is selfish because it makes all of the people who love you suffer
Mom always thought nobody loved her
“You’re a worthless piece of trash!” Dad would always scream
I didn’t blame Mom for taking her own life;
I just wish she didn’t leave me alone
It wasn’t until I was fifteen I figured out where my brother might be
The morning I was planning to set out, I brought dad his morning ritual of three beers and a needle
He didn’t even notice the backpack on my shoulders
He must have still been high from last night
My brother wasn’t far
His mom owned a diner just a few blocks south
I walked in;
I saw a woman at the counter
A tall, beautiful blonde
Shaking, I cleared my throat
“Do you happen to know where Noah Presley is?”
My voice was calm and content
“Noah Presley?” she sounded alarmed-
“My son died three years ago in a car accident,” she finished
I like to believe that if my brother and I were never separated, my life would be different
I like to believe that if my brother and I were never separated, he would still be alive
It’s a shame to think you were so close, but to no avail
I almost made it
I almost met him
It almost changed my life
I went home that night and got my dad his nightly ritual of three beers and a needle and went up to my room
My life almost changed today,
But almost is never enough.